Solstice

Solstice

The darkest night
still
waits for morning…
even when it feels no
‘welcome.’

Wind sighs—
collapses in exhale
leaving room for
rhythms—
ribbons of air…
serpentine currents when felt in
cavernous dark.
Our Lord
met us here—in the cave.

Allow the dawn,
its light to creep
slowly—not jarring
into the place one’s soul wanders,
and wonder…

Is there a God,
God of goodness who
made the light?
If you must hold your breath—
hold it with

the wild possibility
that hope—tightly balled into
winter’s fist—
may find The Child
and yet survive.

jfig     12/2022

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. he chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."
"James 1 (NIV) - Every good and perfect gift." Blue Letter Bible. Web. 21 Dec, 2022. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/niv/jas/1/17/s_1147017>.


If I wrote this poem for no one else, Lord, I would write it for my friend, who wanders in the dark, knowing that you are God. We all wander, and wonder. And wait…for your faithfulness, which finds us again, and again, and again. You find us, because you are here, waiting as well, breathless with the expectation that we will look up. Thank you…from the humblest of hearts, that you would creep low; tarry that we might bump into you often enough to become familiar…old friends for the journey; and company us safely home. Amen

The God Who Stays

You are...
the God Who Stays,
light that remains when every.other.candle
lies extinguished.

Deep...
in the hollows of the earth
you carved a shelter,
holding space for resurrection.

We needed to know...
life can be born, and re-borne
in the sanctuary of
Your fire-breathing Presence.

How fierce...
this love that burns within, and without us
but does not consume
save the dross.

You are...
the God Who Stays.

You are...
the God Who Stays
long enough to shred two sides - 
the opaque curtain called 'belonging.'
We needed to know...
that Father stayed, too: waiting, watching
for vision's redemption—holiness unleashed
a billion twinkling stars, set free.

Which one of you first breathed
"It is finished,"
or was that merely cue—
Holy Spirit to join you

in the ripe, hungry
fields of men, women
few, many
unseen, longing?

You are the God Who Stays.

jfig      5/2022

Dear Reading Friend, this is the first in a 3-part ‘observation’ regarding the desperate, reverberating cry, ‘Abandoned!?…?!’; I believe there is a God who hears and tends to this cry. These are not easy words to hear, “I have been abandoned…” Nor is this easy truth to absorb. It seems one has to wrestle a bit. Perhaps a lot. The wrestling feels important: there is no other cry so crashing our airwaves right now. The following verses might be of interest: Philippians 3:20-21; Luke 23:44-46; John 19:30

I have chosen the attached photo because it speaks to me of both what we think we know, and of perspective. I have been wrestling with this topic for a while; years, in fact. When it comes to ‘knowing’, I have as much access to scripture as anyone; and more than many. I have much less Biblical scholarship. My perspective on abandonment is a narrow window; but a thoughtful one. I have tried to look a long way off. Toward that end, your constructive thoughts are welcome. j

While They Were Tending: Mary

Mary
Mary stoops, figure bent
by society— female, poor.
Confronted with a messenger
she bends lower still
tends the embers of belief.

"How will," she asks.
Not, "How can???"
I will, not what if
disgrace bends me until I
break?

She stirs the fire again
This is good news...I think. Elizabeth?
Run!!! Would you run?
To the one barren?
Unless you believed?

The whole story
of God's goodness
finds welcome, in the embers
of Mary's heart.
"Amen"

 jfig     12/2021


My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.   Luke 1:46-55 ESV

It is difficult for me to turn my gaze from how a thing is going to impact me; to how it looks resting on the altar, at the feet of a Holy God. Not so Mary. She drapes her wedding dress upon the altar and says, “Let it be.” As You say. She does not make the error of token agreement and then leave it all up to God. She willingly lays down her plans, her earthly security, and puts on the garments of a servant. Expressing gratitude. We have tried all kinds of gimmicks in our family, to facilitate expression of gratitude, with variable success. Mary rests her expression of gratitude upon God being who he says he is; doing as he says he will do. Throughout history. And the fire of her belief explodes in tongues of worship.

God with the mighty arm, you have used your strength to work the miracle of our salvation. Historically, we look for this, again, and again. We look for it now. Help us to recognize your salvation, as you lay it out before us in invitation, by your Spirit. While we wait with expectation, gift us the humility to bend in submissive participation to your good plans. Amen

Reflection Questions: How have you been able to enter into gratitude this Advent season? How is what you believe, informing your worship of God? May you experience peace, hope and adoration as you trust in Him.

While They Were Tending: An Advent reflection – Zacharias and Elizabeth

Zacharias and Elizabeth

And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. Luke 1:6

Empty quiver
empty womb, 
barren walls, 
too quiet home.
Waiting...
Pillars

Bent with age
and with leaning
extremities of body and will entwined—
together 
falling toward Yahweh.

Through sweeping rhythms
of hope
lament,
one's grief wringing clockwise
the other counter.

Grief will knock you down
but two did not collapse, defeated.
Pillars: righteous and faithful
ushering in
the faithfulness of God.

Do you hear the pillars echo—
Falling toward Yahweh?

jfig     12/2021

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.

Reflection questions:

In spite of individual and shared losses, as well as prolonged waiting; Zacharias and Elizabeth pursue faithfulness. Do you have access to spiritual friendship that steadies you through difficult moments or seasons?

How would you like to express faithfulness to Yahweh during this season of waiting and expectation?

Holy God, we rely upon you, the third strand that ties us together with one another in pursuit of you. Bless us with fellowship that corporately leans toward you. It is of your design. Make us dependent upon others in all the right ways, so that others can depend upon us, to point the way to your salvation. Amen

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

While They Were Tending: An Advent Reflection – Zacharias

Luke 1:13b “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard.

Read Luke 1:5-25 “Luke 1 (ESV) – In the days of Herod,.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 12 Dec, 2021. https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/luk/1/5-25/p1/s_974005.

Luke 1:6 And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the lord.

Zacharias
"Do not be afraid, Zacharias; your prayer has been heard..."

Zacharias means
'Yahweh remembers.'
Really?

Manhood stretched.
Quiver empty. Waiting
for an heir.

The fulfillment of purpose,
appointment of his division,
slow roll of lots.
 
Waiting...for
any of these
to find him.

Yahweh remembers.
"Do not be afraid,
 Zechariah."

Pinnacle priestly moment:
fingers tremble
light the incense

The light explodes—
into apparition?
But wait...

Do not be afraid, Zechariah
Your prayer has been heard, 
AND...
and...and...and...And.
Elizabeth...Son
John
Joy and gladness
Rejoice
Greatness
And... he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God.

Legacy.
Your God.
Faithfulness, step by weighted, waiting step

In spite of...the wait.
Yahweh remembers, Zechariah,
So do we.

jfig     2021


Reflection questions: I interchange the forms Zacharias and Zechariah in this poem, quite simply, because I think there is something beautiful about the word form Zacharias. As if a human could be cast in different lights. It is Zechariah’s aura of faithfulness, upon which the spotlight briefly rests, scene I in the story of Christ’s birth. Is it this faithfulness, seed of God’s own image cast in beautiful bronze glow, which Yahweh remembers? It would be well beyond my credentials, to suggest that God chose Zechariah for his role, because of his faithfulness. But I wonder (after Z. got over being flustered, of course); if God reminded Zechariah, and Zechariah reminded God (because they were on journey together), where exactly they were headed.

 “And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.” Luke 1:6 When I read this story, I am struck repeatedly by the almost certain human impossibility of Zacharias and Elizabeth’s faithfulness. Surely such strength of character is improbable given a long wandering journey of grief. At least without some deviation of purpose, without resentment… Step after waiting faithful step, Zechariah’s footfalls echo Yahweh’s, a journey they have somehow, mysteriously pursued together, one reflecting the Other. How can this be?

In what way have you experienced God’s faithful presence in your season(s) of waiting? What would you like Yahweh to remember about your journey together?

It strikes me that Zechariah arrived at faithfulness, not just for his own sake; but as comfort and strength lent to his wife. For the sake of those he served as priest.  As a foundation from which his son, Spirit-filled, would move? Is there some way in which you would like to invite Father, Son, Spirit to keep you company now as you pursue faithfulness? Who is waiting with you, for the coming of His Salvation?

Lord, God Almighty, we long for the company of Your Presence, as we wait, and wonder… and wander.

THANK YOU for your faithfulness that guards our very being and gives us hope. Your strength, Your unwavering purpose. We need all this, and more. We need the mystery of you giving us strength not our own. Like Zechariah, may your faithfulness find its reflection in us. As we walk in it, may heads and hearts turn toward you in readiness for your salvation.  Amen

Isaiah 40:31 They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

2Cor. 2: 14 But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

While They Were Tending: An Advent Reflection – Intro

Have you noticed? All the main characters in the Nativity story were simply tending to their ordinary lives, when suddenly… They step into their roles from the horizontal plane of everyday life. Spotlights find them in the mundane, sometimes painful, laborious and anticipatory; all of them waiting. With all of Israel they wait for Messiah, but each waits also in the angst of their individual postures in the world: Mary, for a wedding. Joseph, for his bride. Zechariah, for his appointment. Not unlike any of us.

In observing these characters through scripture, there are comments that pop; aspects of character that slip into Luke’s narrative. Perhaps it is these traits that allow each to respond a certain way in the critical moment? It is this question, that captures my attention.

Read Luke 1: 1-45 “Luke 1 (ESV) – Inasmuch as many have undertaken.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 10 Dec, 2021. https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/luk/1/1/s_974001.

Have you noticed? Waiting is not passive— but tends the fire of belief. Sometimes, it consumes an inordinate amount of energy, either anticipatory or fearful.  Year 2021, waiting in the slow line raises questions: Text, text, text…what matters? Tap, tap, tap…what am I worth? Diverse others behind and before me… What is her reality? His need? What…do I really believe about what is right and good? What do I really believe, period?

Year 2021—waiting. Have you noticed? Some of us are not adept.  Others, far too much so—practiced?

from Luke 1:3b,4 “I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.”

What do I really believe? This is a good question. Personally, if I am not careful to continue laying the fuel of hope, based on God’s undeniable faithfulness to me; the flame of my belief flickers, distorting what I see in the midnight sky. Fires(yours, too?) smolder lower and lower, hungry for oxygen. This waiting is one story of Advent.

Waiting
Waiting is not passive...
but tends the fire of belief.
Subconscious yearnings curl skyward
for fiery coal
held in God's hand alone
to touch one's lips
feet, fingers: propel these bones
that carry any purpose at all
into the kingdom of light.

Carry me...

Burst my heart, God
upon the dream of your making.
My fingers pick
at the timeworn threads
of dreams my way—
like lint upon a tattered garment.
Your hand massages the oft-furled script,
patient
as my feet find the rocky path.

The path...
straight by definition,
far from so, in experience.
Come, come to the manger
come with me—
to see the why
and the wherefore;
all the reason
belief has form.

jfig     2021

Reflection Questions:  For what are you waiting? What fuel lies banked in your heart? What will you do, as God breathes his living presence into the everyday drama of your life this Advent season?

THANK YOU for joining me. As we continue, I hope we will ponder together, pray together, worship and rejoice together. In his goodness, j

Prayers of returning…day 2

The past 7 months have been filled with anguish – like I have been floundering in some raging socio-emotional current, washing up in tatters from time-to-time on unfamiliar and desolate shores. Depleted. This week, God has mercifully filled my cup anew, like the long-awaited rain that is at this very moment beginning to patter. I extend this prayer to you, not because “I am back,” but to share my small ration of hope in the waiting. jfig

Prayer of returning...day 2
Cupped

Jesus, i return
to you, this morning
small gift of hope, cupped
carefully
in upturned palms
like a bird, ready
to fly.

For you...i offer
it back—this infant gift
so precious
to scatter like seed;
it lies safe in your benevolent hands.
My heart rests—abandoned
to you...dawning revelation of all creation.

Reveal...
I wait peacefully
for you.

jfig     8/2021
If you'd like a scriptural context, Isaiah 8:20-22 speaks of anguish. And Isaiah 9, the revelation of dawn.



Grace in 12s: a reflection on pain

Wiggle Room

When pain is raw

out there pulsing on the floor

like a live thing—

wiggle room is scarce.

 

When pain thunders deep and wide

echoes reverberate

beneath one’s breastbone,

the fortitude to engage grace—

give and receive

is spare.

 

When suffering is long…

we don’t really know how long,

do we?

unless one asks, or has been there

trudging alongside

seasons of the journey.

 

Mud and muck cling to one’s shoes

and laughter bursts

at hidden ridiculousness.

Oh, God, let us

keep sharing laughter

in journeys long and deep.

 

When pain is raw

the wiggle room to extend honor

grace-filled speech and action,

is narrow – barely squeezing by

CAUTIOUSLY: so I don’t tear open wounds

that might just begin to heal.

 

My power to heal

to effect and sustain change

is only so great as the source from which I draw it.

Come to the well, dear sister.

Come to the well.

I am talking to me.

 

jfig     6/2020

RW pic grace &amp; fire

After a career-long of assessing and addressing pain, it remains apparent to me, that each person’s pain, is enough. That our service is not so much to avoid or get rid of it, but to hold it with and for one another, in order to strengthen what remains. To carry it for seasons, in often less than capable hands, through the grey dusk of mourning,  while we wait together for healing to come.

It is not hidden in scripture, that God commissions his followers to heal. I love the passage in Luke 10:1-11, regarding this commission:

After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them on ahead of him, two by two, into every town and place where he himself was about to go. Luke 10:1(ESV)

Whenever you enter a town and they receive you, eat what is set before you. Heal the sick in it and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’ But whenever you enter a town and they do not receive you, go into its streets and say, ‘Even the dust of your town that clings to our feet we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this, that the kingdom of God has come near.’  Luke 10:8-11(ESV)

I love that we are sent – invited to go – where Jesus himself is about to attend. I love that we are invited to bring Jesus close to the hurting. I’m reassured that we are given permission to leave when we are not wanted. That we are not meant to carry away with us, the weighty dust of, ‘You are not welcome here.’ That we are meant to leave with the attitude of our message intact: Nevertheless, the kingdom of God has come near.” Jesus also reminds his followers, (vs. 20) that the thing to be celebrated, is not the ‘works’ they have done, the authority they have wielded over demons. The thing to be celebrated is that they are among the company of those who have received grace unto salvation. The thing to be celebrated is grace. So far as I can tell, none among any of us is given the authority to say who receives grace unto salvation. None.

“Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Luke 10:20 (ESV)

Raw pain demands our attention. We look at our smallish hands, stunned…how can we, as individuals, as a society, hold this much pain?  “Nevertheless, know this, that the kingdom of God has come near.”  Oh, that I might be a bearer of the kingdom… with smallish hands.

The story in Luke 8, where Jesus, in the middle of a crowd, is called to the bedside of a dying girl, speaks. The child is ‘about 12 years old.’ Jesus is detained in responding. He chooses to be detained, to engage a woman who grasps his robe, pleading for help. She has been bleeding for 12 years. As long as the young girl has been alive. Each person’s pain is enough. Jesus attends to all: to the girl and to the woman; to the father oppressed by fear. He draws each of them up with kindness. He also has choice words for the ‘advocates’ in both situations. Please see Luke 8:40-56

“Luke 8:1 (NLT) – Soon afterward Jesus began a.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 11 Jun, 2020. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/luk/8/1/p1/s_981001&gt;.

Jesus, may I be one who bears the news of your healing presence, as you draw near to those who are hurting. May I quiet myself enough to realize where you are about to make yourself known; what town you would have me visit. Open my eyes, not just to the pain of the one who is dying a distance far-off, but also to one who is bleeding out along my path. Help me choose to carry kindness, the comfort of your impending presence. Give me caution to not fan the flames of false heroics, nor torch anyone with my words, or actions,  but to look for the fire of Your Spirit in the night sky, and follow where you lead. Follow you toward hope and healing, toward freedom and abundant life. Gird me with patience to hold the pain of others, its hot unwieldy expressions; that together we might see the healing dawn of your powerful grace; watch you resurrect life from the ashes of our self-absorption and hatred, our disdain for others, and woefully, for You. We need you, Lord Jesus. We need you, Father God. We need you, Holy Spirit. Bring your healing love that honors and resurrects life in the tiniest of increments. Come Lord Jesus. Amen

“Luke 10:1 (ESV) – After this the Lord appointed.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 11 Jun, 2020. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/luk/10/1/p1/s_983001&gt;.
“Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007, 2011, 2016 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

Photo: Corinthians 1:8-11

 

30 Days in Gennesaret: Day 9 My Sister is Sick

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 NLT

I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me. John 10:14 NLT

Today’s poem captures snippets of conversations I have had with a friend who has suffered much.  It alludes to the question that perhaps we all raise in one way or another, “Why does a good God allow suffering?” To really grapple with the question takes a certain amount of bravery, let alone live the stories that prompt it. Following the poem, is a scaffolding of scripture references from which to explore further if you are interested.

My Sister is Suffering

My sister is suffering,

years now into it

breathing loss in pinched increments

as if it were air.

My heart rends a little each day

waiting.

 

Translucent

her beauty,

shines through

as if the holes

filled in

with flowers.

 

“Jesus is here!

In Gennesaret.”

We conversed

on our hurried way.

I asked

“How will we know…?”

 

She said simply

I wait each day

his sustaining glance

his whispers round suffering

his assurance of keeping

I wait each day.”

 

“His voice I know

His whispered caress

‘Easy, my child

you’ve nothing to fear.

I am with you in pain

My strength will suffice.’

 

So filled up with Jesus,

this sister of mine

“Oh, Brother, I’ll know Him

It will take but a touch.

I’ll know him, dear brother—

let’s hurry, let’s fly.”

jfig     3/2020

 

Psalm 27:  John 17:3;  Romans 5:1-5;  Romans 8:16; I Corinthians 1:23,24;  John 10:14

Psalm 27:13 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Photo was taken by Cathy Barger Hoesterey near Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I chose this photo for the fierceness with which this young girl cares for her siblings.

 

30 Days in Gennesaret: Invitation and Offering

Dear Reader,

Mid-February, I was tucked away at the beach – reading, walking, writing – when the scene of Jesus healing the sick in the marketplaces of Gennesaret again caught my eye. As a caregiver, and as one who experiences brokenness, this scene intrigues me. Four brief verses of scripture, but so many perspectives. Upon the advice of my writing friends (a beautiful gathering of wise, faith-filled women), I have been practicing poetry. There at the sea, not unlike Galilee, an idea sprang to life. 30 poems for 30 days  –  I can do poetry month!

During those first hours of scribbled thoughts, I did not realize, at least consciously, how fraught with anxiety our sense of community and global health would immediately become. Nor do I want to ‘capitalize’ on the moment, rather be taught by it. So here, in words, we search, if not for a microbial cure, then space for our hearts and minds to breathe.

These poems are an invitation to reflect, to create, to ponder various perspectives, to pray. Reflection opens up teachable space, allowing us to sift through our anxieties and fears, our unanswered questions. I am convinced that we continually form and reform our beliefs about suffering, whether we register them as ‘theology’ or not. Throughout life, we pace the ground of hope and healing for individual lives, or that of community, It is our privilege to tread carefully toward nurture, or unaware, trample that which might sustain life. 30 days in Gennesaret is an invitation to be intentional in reflection. For this project, I have used as prompt the passages in the Bible from Mark 6:53-56 and Matthew 14:34-36.

When they had crossed over, they came to the land of Gennesaret and anchored there. And when they came out of the boat, immediately the people recognized Him, ran through that whole surrounding region, and began to carry about on beds those who were sick to wherever they heard He was. Wherever he entered, into villages, cities, or the country, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged Him that that they might just touch the hem of His garment. And as many as touched Him were made well. 

“Mark 6:53 (NKJV) – When they had crossed over.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 30 Mar, 2020. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/nkjv/mar/6/53/p1/s_963053&gt;.

If you would like to submit/share an original creative piece (poem, painting please, etc) to participate in this project, feel free to contact me directly. Thank you!   

…and Offering: almost ALL of us are caregivers in one form or another. I have been a mother, a physical therapist, a hospice worker, a good-intentioned but less-skilled listener, a neighbor, a special needs parent, a meal-maker, a daughter (my Mom does 3/4ths of the work), a wife, a friend. In what ways have you been a caregiver for the ‘sick’ in the territories of your life? When have you, yourself, been sick and reaching? All of these inform our observation, and our offerings of hope and perspective to one another. Not to mention what we offer back to God as belief.

As we approach Gennesaret, we are with the disciples, in a boat; it’s storming. We recently felt the death of John the baptist. Before climbing into the boat we observed the feeding of the 5000, that one small lunch… And frightening moments ago we pondered what it is to walk on water. The disciples’ conclusion as Jesus steps into the boat and the wind ceases, is to worship him, “Truly you are the Son of God.”  I’d like to complete this intro then, with a prayer, taken from my journal. It is what I hope my heart will remain, as we explore the marketplaces of Gennesaret together.

Sincerely,  jfig

 

A Follower’s Prayer

Father God, may my thoughts be so characterized by you:

that the psalm is on my lips in tandem with the questions

that the voice of fear is stilled to righteous caution

and the perverse seed of bitter entitlement is bled by informed compassion.

You, oh Lord, know my frame; its weakness and strength.

May that strength ever be, the wonder of who you are.   

 

 

 

“Matthew 14:22 (NIV) – Immediately Jesus made the disciples.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 1 Apr, 2020. https://www.blueletterbible.org/niv/mat/14/22/p1/s_943022.