Prayer of Return: Leaning

Prayer of return:  leaning

My soul might faint (faint it does)
but still must get up
and feed babies...
mine, and perhaps some others as well.

Even midst the valley of tears
babes hunger—
they are multiplying cells so fast

I am just beginning
to see
that you have not equipped me to keep up

But to lean—
lean heavily, in fact
on the God of infinite supply.

jfig     winter 21/22



Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

the words of Jesus from Matthew 5:3.


And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide,” as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.’ Genesis 22:13,14

The year 2022 is full of things that need fixing and rescuing. But there is One who came to be our rescue. Prophets foretold it. Simeon saw it. Dare we believe it? Believe that He came not only to ‘rescue’ us from sin as individuals, but to invite us into the abundance of God’s goodness. Into belonging. Into H-O-P-E written overtop the anxieties that grab me when I read the news.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

This post is dedicated to my friends at https://thedihedral.com/ who are a consistent source of encouragement to me.

Prayer of return: compost

Thank you for the feast-
invitation to go
deep into the roots of
Yahweh.
All the way
into the recesses
of why...

Both a question,
and a fledgling
nudge to
climb into the expansive limbs of
Who You are.
But I hear your heartbeat echo
when I am down here midst the roots.

Thank You for the feast
journey compost
turned, and
turned again
to rich, brown
worm earth.
Dust and living water.

Thank You

jfig     1/2022




A bit about prayers of return: My soul friend asked me, “Where are you returning from?” Good question. Places of doubt, skewed theology, giant looming questions. Places like dinosaur exhibits – things that look like they shouldn’t be real but are. On my worst days – willful disobedience. Busyness – days when it is sheer delight to step into the safe Presence of Yahweh and remember, this is home. Always, the welcome is the same. This is home.

Psalms 27, 32 and 84 talk about making God one’s refuge, a home with Him. You can access those readings easily here:

“Psalm 27 (NIV) – Of David. The LORD is.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jan, 2022. https://www.blueletterbible.org/niv/psa/27/1/s_505001.

And finally, John 14: 23 “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” This, friend, is an epic journey…

Scripture quoted is from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

While They Were Tending: Simeon

Let down. Covid, and cancellations, and a Savior has come into the world. But…has anything really changed after all? Winter storms, and wintrier loss and unexpected winds of change altering one’s landscape – for better?

“Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation…” Luke 2:29,30*

Read Luke 2:22-35 “Luke 2 (NLT) – Then it was time for.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 6 Jan, 2022. https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/luk/2/22-35/s_975022.

Let Down
Yes,
Simeon's answer is, yes.
All of eternity is altered
by this child's first breath.
The next breath...peace
is yours.

Like Mary's milk
let down to nurture the Christ child
(let down poignantly
a slight bit painful...tiny bit sweet),
we must lay down singular expectation
to nurture His Presence in the world.

The One who
will not let us down.
He is here
breathing hope and human dust
into everyday miracles.
Every day.

Where shall we find Him?
Simeon...
welcomed him from the arms of a stranger
(young girl at that)
from persistent whispers of Spirit Holy winds,
amid the long-sounding echoes of his own cautious journey.

Look—look for Him
Listen...
Nurture His Presence
He is here.

jfig     1/2022

Simeon practiced expectation. He tended the fire of belief by expecting God to be and do as He had said. For one who would follow Jesus, this practice is critical as breathing. Not because Simeon could see the circumstances of rescue, but because he could now embrace the Christ Child. For one who would follow Jesus, this letting-go of other notions, in order to fully gather in the wonder of the Infant King, is life-altering. Simeon allowed the Advent of the Messiah to frame his outlook toward what came next, as one of peace.

Holy God, I’d like to be like Simeon, embracing your Presence in a way that alters my own expectations; that allows you to fill me with wonder at who you are. Would you settle me into your peace, in such a way that I not only welcome what comes next, but my renewed expectations inform others that YOU ARE HERE. Help me to tend the fire of belief in a way that brightens the darkness of circumstance and softens the faces of those with whom I conflict. Peace. May I be one who can confidently say, I have seen your rescue. Every day. Amen

*Luke 2:29,30 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

While They Were Tending: An Advent Reflection – Intro

Have you noticed? All the main characters in the Nativity story were simply tending to their ordinary lives, when suddenly… They step into their roles from the horizontal plane of everyday life. Spotlights find them in the mundane, sometimes painful, laborious and anticipatory; all of them waiting. With all of Israel they wait for Messiah, but each waits also in the angst of their individual postures in the world: Mary, for a wedding. Joseph, for his bride. Zechariah, for his appointment. Not unlike any of us.

In observing these characters through scripture, there are comments that pop; aspects of character that slip into Luke’s narrative. Perhaps it is these traits that allow each to respond a certain way in the critical moment? It is this question, that captures my attention.

Read Luke 1: 1-45 “Luke 1 (ESV) – Inasmuch as many have undertaken.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 10 Dec, 2021. https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/luk/1/1/s_974001.

Have you noticed? Waiting is not passive— but tends the fire of belief. Sometimes, it consumes an inordinate amount of energy, either anticipatory or fearful.  Year 2021, waiting in the slow line raises questions: Text, text, text…what matters? Tap, tap, tap…what am I worth? Diverse others behind and before me… What is her reality? His need? What…do I really believe about what is right and good? What do I really believe, period?

Year 2021—waiting. Have you noticed? Some of us are not adept.  Others, far too much so—practiced?

from Luke 1:3b,4 “I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.”

What do I really believe? This is a good question. Personally, if I am not careful to continue laying the fuel of hope, based on God’s undeniable faithfulness to me; the flame of my belief flickers, distorting what I see in the midnight sky. Fires(yours, too?) smolder lower and lower, hungry for oxygen. This waiting is one story of Advent.

Waiting
Waiting is not passive...
but tends the fire of belief.
Subconscious yearnings curl skyward
for fiery coal
held in God's hand alone
to touch one's lips
feet, fingers: propel these bones
that carry any purpose at all
into the kingdom of light.

Carry me...

Burst my heart, God
upon the dream of your making.
My fingers pick
at the timeworn threads
of dreams my way—
like lint upon a tattered garment.
Your hand massages the oft-furled script,
patient
as my feet find the rocky path.

The path...
straight by definition,
far from so, in experience.
Come, come to the manger
come with me—
to see the why
and the wherefore;
all the reason
belief has form.

jfig     2021

Reflection Questions:  For what are you waiting? What fuel lies banked in your heart? What will you do, as God breathes his living presence into the everyday drama of your life this Advent season?

THANK YOU for joining me. As we continue, I hope we will ponder together, pray together, worship and rejoice together. In his goodness, j

Prayers of returning: day 3

rejoicing day 3

i come to you rejoicing, Lord
having breathed the delight of 

your goodness falls like rain
sometimes near
oft on some distant plain

cataracted eyes must peer
through cloud, smoke,
beyond
the staggering lightning of loss
to confirm that you are here.

i come to you rejoicing, Lord
having breathed the delight of your goodness

where i have been?
I lay it down—
unlikely gift, this surrender,
to take up the dance of rejoicing.
Your Goodness—
one dwelling where greed
is not a shame.

jfig     8/2021


Scriptural context: Psalm 84 - the courts of the Lord. I've been hanging out here for months:
"How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord." <a href="http://"Psalm 84 (ESV) - To the choirmaster: according to." Blue Letter Bible. Web. 1 Aug, 2021. http://"Psalm 84 (ESV) - To the choirmaster: according to." Blue Letter Bible. Web. 1 Aug, 2021. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/psa/84/1/s_562001>.

Capitalization is intentional to reflect something of one's journey toward confidence, it's resolution, and where it ultimately lies.
'Rejoice' by Monica Stewart is one of my favorite paintings. Due to copyright - I can only nudge/NUDGE you to visit her gallery to see her full rendition.  Rejoice! | (monicastewart.com)

Finally, I should note that the broad expanse of my life has been filled with blessing - thanks be to God.

Permit me, Lord: a prayer for 2021

 
 
 
 Permit me, Lord

 Permit me to love you, Lord
 in spite of weary, bedraggled form—my own. 
 Permit me to love you, Lord
 in ways that stretch the narrow, fearful hardenings in my heart.
 Stenosis of dismay
 temporarily halts my pursuit of holiness.
 Help me to run—swift pursuit;
 your open arms stretched wide
 between twin pillars of Christ's Kingdom,
 righteousness and justice never failing.
 May incense arise, my known 'poor spirit,'
 bent now to pour oil
 and light the flame.
 Reverence and need entwine, curl heavenward
 their soot a cure for my unknowing.
 I exalt your holy name,
 my Lord and my Redeemer.
 Amen 
 and amen.

“Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3

“Matthew 5 (ESV) – Blessed are the poor in.” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 9 Jan, 2021. https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/mat/5/3/s_934003.

Grey

What if the dawn is grey
holding on to dying threads of darkness?
Alabaster beckons...
but first, we must know how to hold its worth.

Clouds transpose; lifting and boiling
not violently - they are pale
but changing nevertheless
some with great rapidity.

If we humans then, are momentary
one dare not miss the momentous occasion
to observe the sacred: translucent wisps in eternity.
Stand - still and reverent to acknowledge what God has done.

"God, you say. Where is He?"
He holds the clouds
sometimes covering what we cannot bear
(were never meant) to see.

"Peel back," He roars
Can you not fathom
the righteous bedrock
of my creation?

A gentle tutor:
"Beauty is kindred to peace...
My hope, will not disappoint...
Think on it."

Aaah, and much of the time, my friend
hope is pale, pale grey
It's time-hammered pewter a translucent pane
mercury glass between God and man. 

jfig   11/2020

This poem is dedicated to my cherished friend Donna, a gift-bearer of HOPE.

For more in-depth reflection, this poem draws from the following passages: Job 38-42; Philippians 4:8-9; Isaiah 5:12; and if you are feeling brave, Romans 5:5 and preceding.

30 Days in Gennesaret: Day 30 Prevailing Winds

Prevailing Winds

Did the rocks cry out in wonder

their message echo long,  e’en as the boat

slipped off from shore, further and farther from view?

Did the village stare, astonished

at what had gone before, in them

all the frameworks shifted

of marketplace routine

in the wake of broad reach—individual and corporate

toward one man?

We will never be the same.

 

According to Easton’s

( Illustrated Bible Dictionary)

of Gennesaret

there is no longer a trace.

Yet we will be… never the same.

What remains?

This prevailing wind

shifts us in new direction

toward an everlasting shore.

Amen

jfig     5/2020

 

Set as we are midst the felt impacts of Covid 19, there are attributes of the Christ-following church that show up on radar—prevailing winds in the midst of global anxiety. To name a few:

refuge(s) of help, hope

generosity

deepening of connection through the navigation of challenging conversations

worship

creativity

 

Dear Reading Friend,

During the course of this journey, there were times when, caught up in the fine details, I needed to ‘zoom out’ to revisit the big picture of Jesus healing the sick. The best tool for that reverse zoom was not a camera, but worship. Three songs became an integral part of my Gennesaret journey. There were others as well, but these stood the test of time, and informed my close-up of Jesus.  Jesus the Healer, The God Who Blesses, and Jesus the One Worthy.  Although I do not think mine is the only perspective—as if I have figured out the ages-old questions of healing—I hope these songs bless your understanding of Him as well. You may, and likely will, see something different. I have picked up my flag and am following midst a great sea of followers, to see where Jesus takes us next.

 

“As It is (In Heaven)” by Hillsong Worship

The UK Churches version of “The Blessing” written by Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes. You can find it on Youtube.

“Is He Worthy?” by Andrew Peterson

 

 

This spring, I was the length of the pruning shears away from hacking this plant down. I thought it was dead! One of the gripping aspects of the Gennesaret story is that it describes the townspeople, leaders and villagers alike, recognizing Jesus and bringing all their sick to Him. This includes those one might think beyond repair. And Jesus? He is able to look beyond our brokenness and scars to find the created core – God’s image – still there, waiting for his resurrecting touch. It is in this seeing reach, us toward him, and He toward us, that life prevails—Hallelujah!

May this total engagement with what Jesus is about to do, grip us, the church of today.

Jesus, we come, fresh from worship, our faces shining and turned up, like these blossoms. Jesus, we come, not knowing the outcomes of our stories. We are reliant upon you: your merciful goodness, the triune power of resurrection, your healing touch—to heal us so that we might appear, like the citizens of Gennesaret, in the pages of eternity. Catch us up, we pray, into your fierce and determined embrace. You, who have not let go of the creation story, and are still restoring the garden. May we hold on tight, to you, Our Lord. Forever and ever. Amen

Thank you again. j

 

30 Days in Gennesaret: Day 29 Ship’s Log II/Stranded

“After they had crossed the lake, they landed at Gennesaret. They brought the boat to shore and climbed out. The people recognized Jesus at once, and they ran throughout the whole area, carrying sick people on mats to wherever they heard he was. Wherever he went—in villages, cities, or the countryside—they brought the sick out to the marketplaces. They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed.” Mark 6:53-56 NLT *

Ship’s Log II

Left Gennesaret at dawn.

Too many stories to tell.

We just drifted past a lad

walking on water.

Was that the six-year-old?

I am sure it was he.

 

Stranded

Shattered

got here too late—

accustomed to my sanctuary of pain.

Jesus and his disciples have left

the shore – boat outline

receding in the distance

 

“He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might

he increases strength.”

 

There is a question

dropped like a pebble on the sand,

“Who do you say that I am?”

jfig     4/2020

 

**Isaiah 40:29

***Matthew 16:15

Recently, a young man asked me, “You have been a believer in Jesus for a long time. What ‘advice’ would you give to a younger follower like me?”

In your lifetime, Jesus will many times ask you this question, “Who do you say that I am?” This is an invitation…

Be honest with yourself, and with Jesus, when you answer. Life-changing conversation will follow.   jfig

Mark 6:53-56 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
** ***Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001, 2007, 2011, 2016 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

You can access scripture passages here: https://www.blueletterbible.org/ This is a terrific site from which to access multiple translations, commentaries and concordance info.

Dear Reading Friends: Thank you. It has been so meaningful to have your company on this 30 day journey. One more day… Thank you for reading, for commenting, for pondering and following along. Over the next 30 days, I plan to stop in and see what you are up to. In all things heavenward, Godspeed. jfig

 

30 Days in Gennesaret: Day 25 Bandwidth

My friend Nancy talks about bandwidth – how much physical and mental energy one has to apply toward what enterprise.  How strong one is to carry emotional weights.  How able to discern relevance. She also talks about missional theology, and news that tells the truth, about the Psalms, and how they allow us to spill our fearful guts. When I think about women in my life from whom I learn how one might make a difference, these attributes come to mind: informed, determined, passionate, ingenious, focused. They are people who ask questions of situations and the status quo. They are my children and my parents; they are their friends and my friends. They are mentors who process through research, through reading, through listening to stories. And from these stories, these women gather nuggets of compassion whenever and wherever they find them.

When Jesus arrived in Gennesaret, the people immediately recognized him, setting off a community reaction – of running to bring the sick. (This astounds me, given our love for committees and task forces, lengthy assessments and decision-making trees). I am wondering, what stories they had heard…what nuggets they had gathered, by which they entrusted their sick to this almost stranger.

Bandwidth

Disembark, hem still damp

wind-scuttled.

IMMEDIATELY…

only yesterday

 

Jesus and co. navigated to remote space

refuge and rest

bandwidth narrow

 

Disembark rest

to teach

sheep devoid a shepherd

close up photo of a herd of sheep
Photo by Ekrulila on Pexels.com

Disembark the late hour

to serve full banquet – fish and bread

to just 5000 (plus women and children).

 

Disembark the crowds

to pray.

Alone

 

Disembark striding the waves

to calm fear

suspend chaos…shepherd with sheep

 

Disembark the boat

close, but confused company

to heal the masses

 

relevance – we are sick; not he, she, they

these are our sick

can they come out to play?

 

we have heard…

this name

of Jesus.

 

jfig     4/2020

photo of people on street
Photo by Oscar Chan on Pexels.com